How Not to Care What People Think

Steps

1. 1
   Stop over-thinking. Although this may sound harsh, you are not the most important person in the world, at least not to everyone. Most of the time, when you think you are being judged, you probably aren't. It's just too hard to judge every single person you meet, analyzing their flaws and imperfections like they're a test you're grading.
   
   
   
   • One way to test this is to push your limits a little and do something that is a bit out of the ordinary for you. See how people react. Chances are that only your “friends” will notice the change and make comments, but a random stranger really won’t care.
   • Learn to catch yourself when you start over-thinking. Recognize this pattern of abuse and do something to overcome it. For example, every time you over-think, force yourself to compliment an aspect of your personality. This should help to give you a better self-esteem:
     
     • "Thinking is good. I pay attention to all the little details. I notice things that other people don't notice, but I should use this ability to be positive, not negative."
     • "I care about being good at something. No one can achieve perfection, but I try to put my best foot forward. If I fail or underperform, it's not like I didn't try. That's all I can do."
     • "I care about principles. I have values, and I try to live by them. The world doesn't always work the way I want it to, but that doesn't mean that I'll stop trying. I will accept it when it doesn't."
     
     
     
     
2. 2
   Put things into perspective. People who obsess about what other think tend to put ‘issues’ under the microscope and can't see the forest from the trees. People who don't obsess about what other people think tend to look at the big picture. You only get one chance at life; are you going to allow other people’s thoughts make it less enjoyable? Sounds silly now, doesn’t it.
   
   
   
   • Give it some time. Apart from the fact that life really is too short to worry about things like this, the other aspect is that people’s feelings change. For example, say one moment people insult you for wearing yellow shoes, giving you the impression you shouldn’t wear them. What if this person's opinion changes, and they start wearing yellow shoes themselves? People change their minds, so what they think now might not matter in the future.
   • Make a list of all the things that you are grateful for. Putting it into a list really helps. It makes things tangible, more real. Once you see everything that has gone right for you — maybe your family, your intelligence, your health — you begin to realize that life is more about what you do have than what you don't have. Be appreciate of what life gives you, not resentful of what it doesn't.
   • Take pleasure in the small things in life. Begin to see beauty in everyday things, like a child playing with a dog. Take comfort in everyday things, like a warm cup of tea. Find happiness in everyday things, like a story about overcoming hardship, told by your friend.
3. 3
   Be confident in yourself. What if we could eliminate the amount of times we second-guess ourselves? Well, you can. The trick, if you want to call it that, is to simply be more confident in the decisions and actions you are taking.
   
   
   
   • Have you never seen someone who is sporting something out of the ordinary, but just seems normal and isn't being judged? If you are wearing yellow shoes and are clearly uncomfortable about them, people are going to target you: they can see your insecurity and they'll attack you in order to feel better about themselves. Don't pre-judge yourself before others do; they'll be less like to judge you in the first place!
   • Here are some small, but powerful, self-confidence boosters that you can try on for size:
     
     • Smile. The act of smiling may boost your self-esteem organically, science suggests.^[1] If you smile more often, you send messages to other people that you are friendly, and they'll be more likely to smile back, be happy, and even forgive you.
     • Visualize success. Don't think about the "what if I fail...?" thought that is probably wandering around in your head. Instead, think to yourself: "How will I succeed?"
     • Break down goals into small pieces. Don't set yourself up for failure. Set yourself up for success. If your goal is to be more confident around guys (or girls), break the goal into small parts: eye contact, conversation, flirting, etc. Reward yourself when you complete a small part of each larger goal.
     
     
     
     
     
4. 4
   Learn to control your emotions. When you start to push your limits and get more confident, you'll undoubtedly have mixed emotions. From stress, worry and fear, to relief and happiness, it can be a bit of a rollercoaster of the mind; that is where controlling your emotions comes in. The simple practice taught by Eckhart Tolle goes a bit like this:
   
   
   
   • Be conscious of an emotion inside you — e.g. fear or worry
   • Observe it within your mind
   • Notice that if you are observing it, so it can’t be a part of you
   • Watch the emotion disappear
   • As soon as you observe an emotion, you are separating yourself from it and thus it can no longer exist.
   
   
   
   
5. 5
   Accept yourself for who you are. Understandably, accepting yourself is not the easiest thing to do. Everyone in the world is filled with some kind of doubt; it's all about how they manage it. Luckily, there are things you can do that will help.
   
   
   
   • First of all, think of all the things that you don’t like about yourself and write them down. Now, look at them more closely and see if there is a possibility to change them.
     
     • For example, if you are thin and don’t like that, then look at ways in which you can gain weight and bulk up. If you aren't willing to put in the work to change something that is fixable, you don't have the right to complain about it.
     • However, If you wish you were taller, that's not exactly something you can change. Think about how your situation could be worse, for example: if you are 5' 7" and really don’t like that, think about all the all the people in the world who are 5'. You might not be at your perfectly desired height but there are people who are “worse off,” and presumably some of them who don't even mind that they are 5'.
   • As time goes by and you realize how unimportant some of the things you worry about actually are, life gets easier and your constant concern starts to plummet as your confidence rises.

Tips

• Nothing you do is stupid, you truly have immense worth, and the things that you do are amazing. Don't put yourself down for the things that you think are stupid, believe it or not, there is ALWAYS a friend that thinks you are amazing and thinks everything you do is funny and cool.
• The world does not revolve around you - almost everyone you pass in your life has more on their minds than how you look or act.
• Realize that you are your own person and ultimately the only one in charge of your own actions and feelings. You cannot control other people but you can control how you react and feel about them. Be yourself! life is simply not fun if you are too worried about pleasing/offending other people that you can't even have a personality! Truth is, not everyone is going to like you anyway so why bother trying? Let them get mad over petty stuff if they want to, but don't become a victim of that kind of stupidity and small-mindedness. Just have fun.
• Some people say that what others think about you is a result of what you think about yourself. This is true in that people who think highly of themselves often have high confidence, which merits a positive reaction, while people who think poorly of themselves often have low confidence, which merits a negative reaction. This is NOT to say that those who are mistreated deserve it, but a person's social success may be dependent on their own self image if they're in a setting where they're not largely judged by people who don't care what they think.
• When your life is sent away by those other thoughts forget them; just think of the positive people who help you in life.
• Ask yourself what it is that you are uncomfortable with doing.
  • Is it worth doing in the first place? Your discomfort may be your survival instincts telling you that it's a threat to your safety and it's definitely not worth doing! For example, suppose someone who lacks social skills asks you out, makes mistakes that make you feel uncomfortable (like if s/he makes repeated unwelcome sexual advances), and wants to try again and again the same way she or he practiced riding a bicycle. Don't push yourself to act confident on more dates with this person so you can try to feel comfortable having this person "practice" on you. You're not a bicycle, and if you leave then he or she will learn that what he or she did can drive people away.
  • If something you are uncomfortable with doing is worth doing, and your discomfort is more like stage fright instead of fearing that your date will hurt you, can you see someone else doing it or is no one else doing it? Either way, if you act confident, it won't show that you aren't comfortable and in time you will become comfortable doing it.
• Remember this quote:

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." - Eleanor Roosevelt.


Sumber: Wikihow