How to Deal With Criticism

Steps

1. Keep your self-esteem proportional. Don't have it too high or too low for yourself. If it is too low, you will be sensitive to criticism because it reminds you how bad you think you are. If it is too high, you will get angry at people and be disappointed of yourself. It may be difficult to maintain this balance. Just keep reminding yourself that "I am what i am and i am true to myself. I am not a perfect person but at the same time i do posses some talent.
2. Tell people to give constructive criticism to you. It doesn't hurt as much when you tell people to. 
3. Correct what they are criticising, or they will see you as stubborn or annoying.
4. Try to improve. It may sound like a cliche but this is what you can do. There is no point in mulling over those words. Look beyond the 'words'. Take it in good spirit. Make an effort to eradicate those negatives.
5.  Its a part of life. It is very important that you know that you cannot escape criticism. The more success you will find the harsher will be the criticism. Take a look at all the famous people, there are millions who criticize them. They always take it in good spirit and maybe that's why they are successful. No matter what you do there will always be people who will praise as well as criticize you. Nothing is perfect.

Tips

• Criticism means constructive advice pointing out your faults. If you are trying to deal with insults, read the articles in the related wikiHows.
• You should be polite with people so that they will not use harsh words all the time.
• If the criticism is faulty, ignore what has been said or contact the person who sent the criticism.

 

• People might think you are weird if you tell people to criticize you.
• Don't flat out tell the person they are wrong and should "stop flaming you", this doesn't make a difference whether they are right or not.

		Sumber; Wikihow

Arrogant, conceited, pompous and boastful

What are the differences between arrogant, conceited, pompous and boastful?

Arrogance:

Associated with personality. Arrogance also does not always mean 'rude', but sometimes this is the case. It is usually an internal feeling, meaning if they are rude, it's not on purpose.
Conceited:
Also associated with personality. However this time it is more connected to being rude - Conceitedness is to look down on others on purpose.
Pompous:
To go 'over board', to act 'higher up'. This just means the person is snooty - again, it does not mean they are rude all the time.
Boastful:
Self indulgent. Boastful is closely associated with the action of TELLING everyone what they did, or what they achieved.

 

 

People Around Us..

QUIT WASTING ENERGY...!

Anger, sad, worrying, grunge, depressed is such waste of energies...! Channel your energy towards love, faith and snagging your dreams!

Its so amazed how we can be on what they call "cloud 9 or 99" and then someone or something negative happens and immediately we neglect and forsake joy and peace for sadness and/or anger. Life is so precious and apart of living is embracing every moment that we are blessed with.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6968101

How Not to Care What People Think

Steps

1. 1
   Stop over-thinking. Although this may sound harsh, you are not the most important person in the world, at least not to everyone. Most of the time, when you think you are being judged, you probably aren't. It's just too hard to judge every single person you meet, analyzing their flaws and imperfections like they're a test you're grading.
   
   
   
   • One way to test this is to push your limits a little and do something that is a bit out of the ordinary for you. See how people react. Chances are that only your “friends” will notice the change and make comments, but a random stranger really won’t care.
   • Learn to catch yourself when you start over-thinking. Recognize this pattern of abuse and do something to overcome it. For example, every time you over-think, force yourself to compliment an aspect of your personality. This should help to give you a better self-esteem:
     
     • "Thinking is good. I pay attention to all the little details. I notice things that other people don't notice, but I should use this ability to be positive, not negative."
     • "I care about being good at something. No one can achieve perfection, but I try to put my best foot forward. If I fail or underperform, it's not like I didn't try. That's all I can do."
     • "I care about principles. I have values, and I try to live by them. The world doesn't always work the way I want it to, but that doesn't mean that I'll stop trying. I will accept it when it doesn't."
     
     
     
     
2. 2
   Put things into perspective. People who obsess about what other think tend to put ‘issues’ under the microscope and can't see the forest from the trees. People who don't obsess about what other people think tend to look at the big picture. You only get one chance at life; are you going to allow other people’s thoughts make it less enjoyable? Sounds silly now, doesn’t it.
   
   
   
   • Give it some time. Apart from the fact that life really is too short to worry about things like this, the other aspect is that people’s feelings change. For example, say one moment people insult you for wearing yellow shoes, giving you the impression you shouldn’t wear them. What if this person's opinion changes, and they start wearing yellow shoes themselves? People change their minds, so what they think now might not matter in the future.
   • Make a list of all the things that you are grateful for. Putting it into a list really helps. It makes things tangible, more real. Once you see everything that has gone right for you — maybe your family, your intelligence, your health — you begin to realize that life is more about what you do have than what you don't have. Be appreciate of what life gives you, not resentful of what it doesn't.
   • Take pleasure in the small things in life. Begin to see beauty in everyday things, like a child playing with a dog. Take comfort in everyday things, like a warm cup of tea. Find happiness in everyday things, like a story about overcoming hardship, told by your friend.
3. 3
   Be confident in yourself. What if we could eliminate the amount of times we second-guess ourselves? Well, you can. The trick, if you want to call it that, is to simply be more confident in the decisions and actions you are taking.
   
   
   
   • Have you never seen someone who is sporting something out of the ordinary, but just seems normal and isn't being judged? If you are wearing yellow shoes and are clearly uncomfortable about them, people are going to target you: they can see your insecurity and they'll attack you in order to feel better about themselves. Don't pre-judge yourself before others do; they'll be less like to judge you in the first place!
   • Here are some small, but powerful, self-confidence boosters that you can try on for size:
     
     • Smile. The act of smiling may boost your self-esteem organically, science suggests.^[1] If you smile more often, you send messages to other people that you are friendly, and they'll be more likely to smile back, be happy, and even forgive you.
     • Visualize success. Don't think about the "what if I fail...?" thought that is probably wandering around in your head. Instead, think to yourself: "How will I succeed?"
     • Break down goals into small pieces. Don't set yourself up for failure. Set yourself up for success. If your goal is to be more confident around guys (or girls), break the goal into small parts: eye contact, conversation, flirting, etc. Reward yourself when you complete a small part of each larger goal.
     
     
     
     
     
4. 4
   Learn to control your emotions. When you start to push your limits and get more confident, you'll undoubtedly have mixed emotions. From stress, worry and fear, to relief and happiness, it can be a bit of a rollercoaster of the mind; that is where controlling your emotions comes in. The simple practice taught by Eckhart Tolle goes a bit like this:
   
   
   
   • Be conscious of an emotion inside you — e.g. fear or worry
   • Observe it within your mind
   • Notice that if you are observing it, so it can’t be a part of you
   • Watch the emotion disappear
   • As soon as you observe an emotion, you are separating yourself from it and thus it can no longer exist.
   
   
   
   
5. 5
   Accept yourself for who you are. Understandably, accepting yourself is not the easiest thing to do. Everyone in the world is filled with some kind of doubt; it's all about how they manage it. Luckily, there are things you can do that will help.
   
   
   
   • First of all, think of all the things that you don’t like about yourself and write them down. Now, look at them more closely and see if there is a possibility to change them.
     
     • For example, if you are thin and don’t like that, then look at ways in which you can gain weight and bulk up. If you aren't willing to put in the work to change something that is fixable, you don't have the right to complain about it.
     • However, If you wish you were taller, that's not exactly something you can change. Think about how your situation could be worse, for example: if you are 5' 7" and really don’t like that, think about all the all the people in the world who are 5'. You might not be at your perfectly desired height but there are people who are “worse off,” and presumably some of them who don't even mind that they are 5'.
   • As time goes by and you realize how unimportant some of the things you worry about actually are, life gets easier and your constant concern starts to plummet as your confidence rises.

Tips

• Nothing you do is stupid, you truly have immense worth, and the things that you do are amazing. Don't put yourself down for the things that you think are stupid, believe it or not, there is ALWAYS a friend that thinks you are amazing and thinks everything you do is funny and cool.
• The world does not revolve around you - almost everyone you pass in your life has more on their minds than how you look or act.
• Realize that you are your own person and ultimately the only one in charge of your own actions and feelings. You cannot control other people but you can control how you react and feel about them. Be yourself! life is simply not fun if you are too worried about pleasing/offending other people that you can't even have a personality! Truth is, not everyone is going to like you anyway so why bother trying? Let them get mad over petty stuff if they want to, but don't become a victim of that kind of stupidity and small-mindedness. Just have fun.
• Some people say that what others think about you is a result of what you think about yourself. This is true in that people who think highly of themselves often have high confidence, which merits a positive reaction, while people who think poorly of themselves often have low confidence, which merits a negative reaction. This is NOT to say that those who are mistreated deserve it, but a person's social success may be dependent on their own self image if they're in a setting where they're not largely judged by people who don't care what they think.
• When your life is sent away by those other thoughts forget them; just think of the positive people who help you in life.
• Ask yourself what it is that you are uncomfortable with doing.
  • Is it worth doing in the first place? Your discomfort may be your survival instincts telling you that it's a threat to your safety and it's definitely not worth doing! For example, suppose someone who lacks social skills asks you out, makes mistakes that make you feel uncomfortable (like if s/he makes repeated unwelcome sexual advances), and wants to try again and again the same way she or he practiced riding a bicycle. Don't push yourself to act confident on more dates with this person so you can try to feel comfortable having this person "practice" on you. You're not a bicycle, and if you leave then he or she will learn that what he or she did can drive people away.
  • If something you are uncomfortable with doing is worth doing, and your discomfort is more like stage fright instead of fearing that your date will hurt you, can you see someone else doing it or is no one else doing it? Either way, if you act confident, it won't show that you aren't comfortable and in time you will become comfortable doing it.
• Remember this quote:

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." - Eleanor Roosevelt.


Sumber: Wikihow

Top 10 Things NOT to say to urself..

We tend inflict so much suffering upon ourselves through negative self talk. It’s really amazing when you think about it. So much suffering due to words running through our minds…

In this post I’d like to share my top 10 self-damaging things we tend to say to ourselves. I have my own experience with negative self talk, believe me!

One tool for overcoming negative self-talk is to call it what it is. I’ll say more about that in a minute. Here is my list of the top ten things to AVOID SAYING TO YOURSELF.

1." I’m not worth it".<<<------assault on your self-esteem, change to I'm worth it!

This is a direct assault on your self-esteem and it is simply not true! Telling yourself you are not “worth it” only perpetuates negative beliefs you may have picked up early in life.

2. "There’s no use." <<<------steals your personal power,no motivation. Motivate urselg!

Telling yourself there is no use steals your personal power and leaves you with no motivation.

3. "I can’t do it."<<<---- self-attack, change it to I can do it! Believe in urself!

Again, very disempowering. There are times when you truly cannot do something, however, most of the time this one is delivered as more of a self-attack than a statement of fact.

4. I’ll never follow through.<<<----u r shooting yourself! change it to I'll manage to follow thru

This is a set up for failure before you really get started. We all know that success comes one day at a time. Telling yourself you will fail before you get started is shooting yourself in the foot.

5. People won’t like me.<<<----self-fulfilling prophecy! change it to BE MORE FRIENDLY

A set up for rejection. When you enter a new situation telling yourself that people won’t like you, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy!

6. Others are better than I am.<<<----assault on your self-worth! change it to Respect Others...u can do it too

We all tend to compare ourselves to others. Sometimes we exercise prejudice against ourselves, though. Telling yourself that others are better than you is an assault on your self-worth.

7. I am not enough.<<<---very discouraging..change it to BE APPRECIATIVE

A huge one for people who feel inadequate to meet the demands of life. A sense of personal inadequacy is very discouraging – don’t reinforce it!

8. I must be perfect.<<---must accept ur self....we are perfectly imperfect!

The way to guarantee failure is to criticize yourself whenever you are imperfect, which is all the time. We are perfectly imperfect!

9. My opinion doesn’t matter.<<<--unworthy....RESPECT URSELF..

More low self-esteem in this statement. To say this one to yourself, you must consider yourself unworthy.

10. I’ll never be any different.<<<---hopeless thought! Must dare 2b different!

We say this as if we are written failure into stone. It’s a hopeless thought. Just say no to this one!

What To Do About Negative Self-Talk

Follow these steps to get a better handle on your negative self-talk:

1. Catch yourself. So often we run on autopilot and allow our minds to ruin our day. So, start each day with the conscious goal to catch yourself saying negative things.

2. Call a spade a spade. Next, label what you just said! Recognize it as negative self talk.

3. Use the following formula: “I just had the thought…” (repeat the negative thought here).

If you caught youself saying, “I am not worth it,” for example, then you would pause and say, “I just had the thought, ‘I am not worth it.’”

Using this formula securely labels the thought as a mere thought. If you do not realize that what you said was just a thought, you run a higher risk of taking it personally and allowing it to ruin your day.

4. Take a deep breath and move on!

I hope you found this post helpful! If negative self talk persists in spite of employing these methods, then you may have an underlying attachment that maintains the self-sabotage.

By Mike Bundrant 

    -adds on by me! 

What Happiness really are

Worry- Waste of Energy

 

Worry is nothing more than preoccupation with events that could happen in the future!
All the focus, power, and thought you would have to solve a problem is being used to worry instead of taking action or accepting the situation as it is.

Wikipedia gives the definition of worry as “negative self talk that distracts the mind from focusing on the problem at hand.” The article continues with a great example of a student who becomes anxious while taking a test and repeatedly tells themselves that they are going to fail. This thinking interferes with focusing on the test! The speech areas of the brain that are needed to complete the test questions are being used for worrying.

It is not always so easy to see the how the worrying is keeping you preoccupied from focusing on the problem at hand but it always the case. Be honest with yourself for just one moment – what has worrying ever accomplished?

Human beings are the only creatures on this planet that worry! Go into nature and take a look around! The trees do not worry, the grass does not worry, the flowers do not worry, and the animals do not worry yet they are perfection. Given by grace everything that is needed and created to perfection just as we are! They spend their time being aware and in the present moment not worrying about what could happen. Little children also have this attribute! They focus all of their attention on whatever they are doing at the time. Worrying is an acquired behavior it is not a natural one!

All the time that we spend worrying is lost time that can never be recovered.
Choose today to spend that time loving another, or maybe extending a smile to a stranger as they walk by. Find ways to enjoy the moment! What you are worrying about may or may not happen in the future but worrying about it is downgrading the present moment. What is worry going to change? Absolutely nothing so enjoy right now!

Come with me on this journey and promise yourself that today and everyday is time to enjoy life! Each time you find yourself worrying about the future gently remind yourself that worry is useless and move onto something more productive! Live, love, and enjoy!

Sumber: http://goodnewsisall.blogspot.com


 “Worry is the secret weapon perpetrated upon us by the dark forces of the world that lurk in the shape of fear, uncertainty, confusion, and loss.
We, on the other hand, have our own secret weapon against these incorporeal fiends.
It is laughter.” Vera Nazarian, The Perpetual Calendar of Inspiration

Musim2 Election ni..

The election was over.......THE party is winning AGAIN..n AGAIN..

Cume berharap tiada lagi video2 lucah, tiada lagi fitnah, tiada lagi pendedahan aib manusia, tiada maksiat (at least tiada maksiat terbuka....pity the one yg mane aibnye dicanang satu dunia,,...betul ke salah...aib manusia tak perlu lah disebut2..cume kite perlu tumpu pada bagaimana hendak meningkatkan nilai rakyat yang berkualiti dan membantu rakyat...

LOVE should be all in the air.....selalu kite expect manusia2 di dunia ni saling tolong menolong seperti keluarga, percakapan semua yg positif, tiada kutuk mengutuk, NO HATRED...tapi mana ada keadaan yang macam tu kan...kekadang kite harap dan nak dunia ni semua orang baik dgn kite, nice in their words and action to us and each other..

But the realiti is.......sejak zaman nabi adam lagi..kedengkian dan kebusukan hati sudah ada...so..keep in ur mind.......

BE STRONG, just live, SMILE AND CREATE LAUGHTER, LIVE THE LIFE TO THE FULLEST...FILL UR HEART WITH LOVE....LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO HATE.......all the best..peace XOXO